I’ve been thinking recently about keeping score, and how this innate element of human behavior could be holding me back from more joy and richness in my relationships, and even my professional life.

Do you ever notice when you are tracking how you measure up against others you hold yourself in an energetic state of lack- or not being “enough”? Sometimes this comparison motivates you to try harder and up your game, but more often it leaves you feeling drained, troubled with self-doubt, and possibly acting in ways that aren’t in alignment with your true nature in order to keep up with someone else’s standard, which may not be your own.

And then there’s keeping score in your relationships.  Always tracking what someone owes you, or you owe them…leaving you in a perpetual state of either feeling you’re giving too much, too little, or not receiving what you are entitled to. Either way, again you’re in a place of tension, because there is no natural flow to offering yourself to others without expecting something equal in return (which, I’ve found is rarely going to happen!)

I’m not a super competitive person – unless of course, you’re racing me down the hill on a bike or skis 😉- but I think I’m realizing this keeping score thing is subconsciously keeping me limited in my beliefs of who I am, what I want to receive, what I have to offer, and what will keep me aligned with my own true north.

Score-keeping takes me out of a flow state of being unequivocally and unapologetically ME. It’s preventing me from trusting that giving or doing or succeeding isn’t required, it’s something I chose to do when it feels right. And when it comes from that heart-centered place there is no score to keep, because I’m doing it for the best reasons. I’m always the winner in this scenario.

I’m curious, do you think it’s healthy to keep score?