Are you asking the right questions?

Often as we struggle with our personal pain, health and life challenges or try to help others with theirs, we tend to ask the question WHY.  Why is he/she acting like this?  Why is my life not _______?  Why can’t I just ________?

Be honest, how often do you get a clear answer to your Why?

I believe the quality of answers comes from good questions.

During a recent walking meditation in nature the power of questioning became so vivid to me. I was asking for guidance in several areas of my life and became keenly aware when I asked specific questions based on past experiences, people and the Why, my energy and answers became more stuck and rigid, and even my body would tense and contract.

When I then shifted my questions to those more expansive and centered on How is this now serving me? And What can I learn from these experiences? the answers flowed through me freely, as if through a river of inspiration. It appeared all the challenges I was facing came with a hidden gift when I addressed them with a different question

When we ask new introspective questions – those that don’t begin with Why, but rather How or What, we may gather new insight. For example, if you’ve had a series of uncomfortable, challenging people or situations in your life, rather than asking Why is this happening to me? consider asking the universe (or your inner-guidance)  How am I calling this negatively-charged energy into my life? and What do I need to do differently in order to shift into a more positive space? The What Now is how we stay rooted in our purpose and what we aren’t seeing clearly; the Why only leads us to more remorse and self-disillusionment.

Why focuses more on problem.
How and What and When puts the spotlight on solution 💡

We can also look at questions on a macro level and recognize that discussing online in circles Why our planet is in a state of global disruption isn’t getting us any closer to real solutions- it only further divides us into camps of those who firmly believe Problem Version A against those who believe version B and C…

Shift this discussion to personal responsibility of How and What do each of us need to change in our lives to make this world more kind, safe and habitable? And When is it critical that you personally start making these changes, if you desire (fill in the blank)?  I believe these are better questions to be asking, especially during social, economic and health crises.

Asking the right questions is especially important in interpersonal communication with others. Digging deep into tough issues with another human requires asking questions to create self-reflection in both people, at the same time. Only asking Why someone did something will usually put them in a defensive position and shut down the flow of energy between two souls.

Inquiring how someone is feeling will typically elicit a different reaction, more heart to heart.  Or, What were you meaning by that comment/behavior?  And then extending What can we do together to create a solution? is far more productive than rehashing the problem over and over.

I have also learned (the hard way) that presenting the right questions to people about their intentions and their expectations very early on in personal or business relationships can save you months or years of disappointment!

Asking thoughtful and expansive questions creates enhanced energy and more real connection with everyone around you✨

What new questions can you ask yourself or others today?